Dealing with difficult people

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Lesedauer 4 Minuten

We meet a wide variety of people on our journey through life. Everyone is unique, everyone has their own peculiarities, their values, their life experiences, their behavior. Sometimes it is easy for us to establish a relationship, the feeling is right from the start, we feel a sympathy and connection with the other. We understand each other when we have similar interests, when we have experienced similar things, when we find characteristics of ourselves in the other. Often it is also the opposites that attract us, we recognize positive qualities in people that we don’t have, and the other way around in us, so that we complement each other perfectly in the relationship.

However, there are also encounters with people who seem difficult to us, where we often don’t know exactly how to deal with them. These can be people who hurt us, people who constantly nag and whine, people who like to blaspheme or poke at others, who make others small, can get quick tempered or angry, people who steal our energy, etc. These people have behaviors that cause us problems and that we find difficult to deal with.

How can we deal with it without letting ourselves be led to negative actions, without being influenced by them, without making ourselves vulnerable and open to attack?

The best and most effective method and strategy we have as children of God is the love of God within us. The Word of God challenges us to meet everyone, whether friend or enemy, with this love.


“Accept one another as Christ accepted you” Romans 15: 7


“You have heard that the Law of Moses says, ‘Love your neighbor’ [14] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, Love your enemies. [15] Pray for those who persecute you. 45 So act like true children of your Heavenly Father. Because he makes the sun rise for bad and good and sends rain for the just as for the unjust. 46 If you only love those who love you too, what is special about it? Even the corrupt tax collectors do that. 47 If you are only kind to your friends, how do you distinguish yourself from other people? Even those who do not know God do that. 48 But you shall be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect. ”Matthew 5: 43-46


We can try and learn to see everyone with God’s eyes, without judging. We should be aware that everyone is a creature of God and that God loves everyone. God always makes a distinction between man himself and his behavior. God hates sin, but loves the sinner.

“But God proves his great love for us precisely by the fact that Christ died for us when we were still sinners” Romans 5: 8

If we meet difficult people in a friendly, loving manner, with a smile, we can radiate God’s love within us and make the other think about his behavior.

To see fellow human beings through God’s eyes means to be interested in them, to question the background of his behavior. Why did man react one way or another, why did he behave like this? We should try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and understand them before we judge. The other could have had negative experiences himself, be hurt himself or have a bad day, etc. Nothing justifies that he belittles or insults other people because of it, but knowing the motives does help us to not take his behaviour personally. Often the behavior of the other has nothing to do with us.

Injured people hurt people

What we can still do when we encounter difficult people in our eyes is to ask ourselves what we can learn from them and what the respective situation wants to show us. It is also possible that the other person reflects behavior to me that I don’t like about myself and that I should change.

“As one grinds iron through iron, so one man grinds another’s character” Proverbs 27:17

We ourselves have flaws and weaknesses that can be difficult for others.

“Why do you see every little splinter in the eye of your fellow man, but you don’t notice the bar in your own eye? 4 How can you say to him: ‘Come here! I want to pull the splinter out of your eye! ‘And you have a beam in your eye yourself! 5 You hypocrite! First remove the bar from your eye, then you can see clearly in order to also pull the splinter out of the eye of your fellow man. ”Matthew 7: 3-5

We can learn from Jesus to love people and to accept them as they are. We shouldn’t pigeonhole people or divide them into different categories based on their behavior. Because if we say from the outset that this person is so and so, we have an opinion about a person that is difficult to get rid of. We form an image from which we can hardly break free, even if the person tries hard. That is why it is so important to let go of inappropriate behavior, to forgive and not to be resentful, not always to look at the mistakes of the other, but to look at his positive traits that discover treasures in the other.

“Love is always ready to believe the best of everyone.” 1 Corinthians 13: 5

“My friends! Let us love one another because love comes from God. He who loves is a child of God and knows God. ”1. John 4: 7


We should never repay evil for evil, but rather

pray for the other “But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:44
forgiven “Rather, be kind and merciful and forgive one another, just as God forgave you through Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4.32
Not crediting guilt “Most of all, don’t let up in loving one another. Because “love overlooks mistakes” 1 Peter 4: 8
do not talk badly about the other person, make him badly with others “Who gossips about others, shares secrets; but those who are reliable keep a secret to themselves ”Proverbs 11:13“ Do not speak ill of one another, but have a good word for everyone who needs it. What you say should be helpful and encouraging, a benefit to all Ephesians 4:29
help “but you who really listen to me, I say: love your enemies and do good to those who hate you” Luke 6:27
Do not be malicious “Do not rejoice over the misfortune of your enemy; do not rejoice at his fall! ”Proverbs 24:17
“Always treat people as you would like them to treat you” Matthew 7:12


To implement all of these resolutions and to deal with people as described in these verses is impossible by one’s own strength and willpower. In order to be able to act in this way, we must be filled with God’s power and live from his love. Our natures are weak, but God’s Spirit within us makes the impossible possible if we only trust and believe.

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