In every good friendship or relationship there is also a quarrel. It is important to come back to reconciliation afterwards. In my work , I have often seen how children argue, but also how quickly they reconcile and are not resentful at all. They meet as if nothing had ever happened.
It is usually different among adults. I know stories where families or friends become alienated due to an argument, break off contact, often stop talking to each other for years and avoid each other. The consequences of irreconcilability are bitterness, hatred, strife, broken relationships and breakups. I think that’s very bad and a shame, because it doesn’t have to be that way. Reconciliation is possible. Stories of reconciliation are wonderful. I’ve seen a friend make up with her mother-in-law after years. Together with a friend, we encouraged her to take the first step, to forgive and to offer her mother-in-law an offer of reconciliation. We prayed for her and with God’s help it was possible to re-establish relationship with each other.
Obstacles to reconciliation are mostly pride, arrogance and not giving in – wanting to be right. But instead it is better to try to see everyone through God’s eyes, not just to look at their faults and weaknesses.
“Do not do anything out of controversy or ambition, but be humble and respect others more than yourself!” Philippians 2: 3
Forgiveness comes before reconciliation. Forgiveness frees our heart, we can let go of negative feelings and put situations and people into God’s hands so that we are no longer burdened. If we have forgiven, we can make the other person an offer of reconciliation and, in the best case scenario, there will be a happy ending – reconciliation.
The most beautiful story of reconciliation that I know is that between God and man. Jesus came to earth to reconcile us with God. Out of love for us humans, he takes the first step towards us. He loved us first. Because there is something that separates us from God – sin. Jesus died for our sins on the cross and thus restored the access – the connection to God. If we believe in his sacrifice for us, we are reconciled to God and the relationship with God is restored.
“Through his death on the cross in human form he reconciled you to himself in order to bring you back into the presence of God and to make you holy and flawless before him. Colossians 1:22
“Christ is the atonement for our sins, not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world.” “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be atone for our sins.” 1 John 4:10
“But be cordial and friendly to one another and forgive one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” Ephesian 4,32
“So we are now ambassadors on behalf of Christ, because God admonishes through us: so we now ask on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God.” 2.Corinthians 5,20
Jesus’ wish was unique. He wanted to bring his children home. The Bible has a word for this desire: reconciliation. (Max Lucado) Reconciliation is the inner healing of our hearts through the love of Jesus. It is not the outward acts of baptism, confirmation or communion that reconcile a person with God. Reconciliation lies solely in repentance and conversion to Jesus Christ. (Walter Mauerhofer). Now an eternal friendship, eternal reconciliation, eternal peace and eternal love is established between God and man. If God looks at us in his Son, he cannot help but be gracious to us. (Johann Friedrich Starck)