Recognition is one of the basic human needs. Everyone wants to be seen, “recognized” just as he is. The search for recognition is the search for appreciation, respect and love. In the word recognition we find the word “know or recognize”.
Who can satisfy this longing in us?
If we search for recognition from people, it will always happen that we will be disappointed. This recognition is often not unconditionally.
I will be considered if:
I behave in a certain way
I do what is expected of me
if i adjust
the more I do
the more i own
Today’s society works according to the performance principle. People are valued based on their performance and that at school. That’s why the children are asking themselves: What do I have to do to be seen?
The need to belong somewhere means that we often have to disguise ourselves, wear masks and cannot be what we really are. This whole system leads to performance thinking, to do more and more to get recognition. We compare ourselves to others.
The striving to be seen can also lead us to perfectionism. Then we are driven, we want to make everything perfect, we always want to be better and we don’t want to make mistakes anymore.
This is how we make our self-image, our self-worth dependent on people’s opinions and assessments. We become a game ball, are manipulable and easily vulnerable.
I know performance thinking and perfectionism very well. For many years in my life, I worked according to this principle. I always wanted to please everyone and it was hard for me to say “no”.
Over time I became more and more dissatisfied and internally empty and trapped because I realized that it is never enough and it will never be enough.
When I came to faith and got to know Jesus, I realized that I was looking for recognition in the wrong place all the time.
What God thinks about you is much more important than what others think about you-
God leads me to freedom, God’s love for me is unconditional. I am valuable, unique and do not need to compare myself with anyone. I am a child of God, created in his image. God loves me the way I am, regardless of what I do or do. God never leaves me alone, he is always with me. He is there, under all circumstances I can come to him. He looks at me with a loving look, even if I make mistakes.
God is the one who “knows” me best because he is my creator. In his presence I can be who I really am. He sees me and knows everything about me. He loves me with my mistakes and weaknesses.
“Lord, you see me,
you know me through and through.
2 Whether I’m sitting or standing – you know
from afar you can see what I think.
3 Whether I go or lie – you see me
my whole life is known to you
4 Even before I start talking
you know what i want to say
5 You surround me from all sides
and hold your protective hand over me
6 That you know me so well is beyond my understanding;
it is too high for me, I can not understand it! Psalm 139: 1-6
“You created me with my innermost,
You formed me in my mother’s womb.
14 Lord, thank you for that
that you made me so wonderful and unique!
Everything you created is great –
I recognize that!
15 As soon as I took cover in secret,
still invisible, artfully formed in my mother’s womb [b],
I wasn’t hidden from you anyway.
16 When I was just starting
have you already seen me Psalm 139: 13-16
“How overwhelming are your thoughts for me, oh God,
there are so many!
18 They are more numerous than the sand by the sea;
if I wanted to count them all, I would never come to an end ”Psalm 139: 17-18
With God, my need for recognition, appreciation, love is fulfilled in a way that no one could ever fulfill.
This knowledge of being accepted unconditionally with him, having everything I need in him, strengthens my self-esteem and my self-image. With this certainty I want to go out into the world, take off my masks and live in the identity as a child of God. I no longer have to adapt, do everything and everywhere, just to be recognized, I can authentically stand by my values regardless of what other people say or think.
I no longer want to live to please people, but to please God. Thereby perfectionism and performance thinking have to go away and therefore serenity and peace come into my life.
“I and God” – we are always the majority
Quotation from Debora Sommer: “I am grateful to learn that I am not defined by my performance, but by my relationship with the Creator”
“What can you say about that? If God is for us, who can still be against us? “Romans 8.31